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1. Why is your stage name The Darkwinner?

Mostly because it's so incongrous and pretentious that it amuses me. It's a stage name that serves as a memorable gimmick. But why call myself the Darkwinner and not Ziggy Stardust, Fearless Frazier, or Bubba the Love Sponge? (Besides the fact that those names were already taken...)

The Darkwinner's "secret identity" is Victor Abson. Victor Abson is a grad student who TAs undergrads in their science courses. Victor tends to be on the "casual/buddy" side instead of the "authoritative/strict" side, and he's always worried that students won't respect him. (He looks about as young as they do, and effuses a youthful, fun-loving demeanor.) This is bad in the following scenario:

So Victor decided to use an alter ego in the evenings, and not post his real name (and e-mail address) all around campus. But what name? Back when he was a kid, Victor liked super heroes (more "Batman and Spiderman/X-men" than "Superman and Fantastic Four/Avengers"), and hence the Darkwinner was born.

The Darkwinner took his stage name from the time when he performed and his first name by birth ("Night Victor" = "Dark Winner") Eccentric scientist by day, entertaining performer by night, he is the Darkwinner. Also, the Darkwinner's secret identity will be receiving his PhD soon, so he'd also be "Doc Victor". Get it?

Of course, it's not much of a secret identity if it's posted on the web. Honestly though, it's more of an amusing gimmick, but if anyone needs a "real" reason, the Darkwinner happily provides the above rationale.

And hey, if you can't call yourself by a superhero name when you're on stage, where's the fun in it?

Tip: The Darkwinner also serves as another way for me to evaluate auditionees. If they address me as the Darkwinner, I know they've read the website and they know what they're getting in to. (It's kind of a password/shiboleth thing). Or maybe they still call me Victor because they lack the necessary silliness to "get" the "tongue-in-cheekness" of it all. Also, when auditionees call me "Darkwinner" it shows that they're wiling to support even the cheesiest of my ideas, something I really look for in future band mates. Regardless, folks score points in auditions if they call me "Darkwinner" wherever "regular" people would use Victor.

Oh, and "Darkwinner" is a title, not a name (sort of like "waiter"). So for direct address (second person) you say "Hi ya Darkwinner!" or "Darkwinner, what do you think of this chord progression?" ("Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.") but if you're referring to me in the third person, you throw in an article "You should check with the Darkwinner first." or "The Darkwinner isn't here." ("When he comes, we'll ask the waiter for our check.") It could be worse, I could have decided the title deserved irregular pluralisation like "Surgeons General." ;-)

So on stage, or rehearsals, or auditions, the Darkwinner will refer to himself as the Darkwinner. And his band mates will call him Darkwinner too, mostly because he needs to get used to responding to that name ;-)

2 Why did the Darkwinner name the band "Left to the Right Monkey?"

The Darkwinner thought it would be better to have a band name before putting up flyers because:

A. It's good to have the name on the flyer for the folks who respond. It fixes the band identity in your mind, so you're motivated to join a definite organization, instead of maybe attempting to approach a nebulous entity. That way you can tell your friends "I'm auditioning for "Left to the Right Monkey," as opposed to:

YOU: "I'm auditioning for a band!" 
FRIEND: "What's the band's name?"
YOU: "Er, it doesn't have a name yet..."

B. It's also good to have the band name on the flyer for folks who do not respond. It gets the name of the band "out there." You'd be suprised how many people say, "Oh yeah, I followed 'Left to the Right Monkey' ever since they first had auditions." It starts people subconsciously familiarizing themselves with the name of the band.

C. This particular name is part of the "weed out" process. If you're a snobby pretentious music purist, you'd be embarassed to tell your elitist friends that you're in something called "Left to the Right Monkey." The name is silly and fun, and it should attract that certain type of person who is willing flock to the banner of "Left to the Right Monkey."

Side note: Another advantage of "Left to the Right Monkey" as the band name is that it could apply to any genre of music, from heavy metal to jazz to ska. It's a good name for a meta-pop band. Also, the grimness of "The Darkwinner" contrasts nicely with the silliness of "Left to the Right Monkey."

D. It's a time saver. For the Darkwinner's first band, we wasted soooo many rehearsals saying: "Let's call ourselves... What's about.... No, how about... I know, let's call ourselves...".

More costly than the time spent, bad feelings were caused because one band member didn't like another's "perfect" band name. It's not like you could logically argue why this band name is more meritous than that band name. Also, I suspect every band name sounds stupid the first time, and any band name can become palatable with repetition/familiarity. So it's just easier to start with a name and then folks are going to think it's cool because it's already named. Weird, huh?

E. There's the subtle subconscious symbolism. The Darkwinner has this three part band concept and he's hoping to find folks who will share his enthusiasm for it. Respondants should feel proud to be joining this already formed ideal, just like they should be proud to be joining an already named band.

F. On the other hand, there will be those who feel that a band name should not be decided until the whole band is formed so the entire group can provide input. While coming up with a name can be painful, it's also a group bonding thing. If the Darkwinner names the band without band member input, it becomes the Darkwinner's band, not "our" band.

I think it's stupid to call it "our" band. When I'm talking about it, I say it's "my" band. When you talk about it, it is "your" band. Forcing folks to unnaturally talk in the first person plural to assuage egos/feelings is stupid. What makes it "our" band isn't who comes up with the band name, or what pronouns are used.

What makes it "our" band is the fact that we all contributed a bit of our sweat and soul into it, that the band would be entirely different if a different person was part of the band. If you're so petty that you feel like you need to have a say in the band name (or hear the "correct" pronouns) in order to feel part-ownership in it, well, you're probably not the type of person who would work well with my leadership style, and you probably shouldn't audition for the band. On the other hand, if you recognize that the pros of the Darkwinner naming the band "Left to the Right Monkey"outweigh the cons of leaving the band unnamed, you might be the type of band mate that I'm looking for.

3. Er, I didn't mean to ask why "Why did the Darkwinner (as opposed to Alex or Barry) named the band "Left to the Right Monkey?",I meant to ask "Why did the Darkwinner name the band "Left to the Right Monkey?" as opposed to "The Pillsbury Doughboys" or "Bound to be Free?")

I know what you meant. After all, this whole FAQ format is an imaginary conversation with myself (and thus far, about myself). So it's not like I can misinterpret what I mean about me when I'm talking to myself (although I'm surprised how often that does happens to me.) Wow, I'm schizophrenic even before I adopted a stage name/secret identity!

4. Hmm, I notice you didn't answer question number 3.

That's okay, question number four wasn't really a question. Okay, enough with the whole "diverting the question thing." I'm not providing the "origin" of the name "Left to the Right Monkey" (like I did so readily with the Darkwinner) because that would diminish the fun/mystery of the band name. I prefer to leave it as a Rosarch ink blot, and let people project whatever meaning they want on it. At the first rehearsal, I will tell the band members (under oath of secrecy) what the band name means, but for now, I'll let you decide what it means to you.

15. Will the band play covers or originals?

Obviously, since the band will write lyrics, we'll be doing originals. We'll probably mix in some covers, when the band starts, just to give us practice playing together. Even later, we might continued playing covers in a show to keep the audience happy-- it's easier for them to dance to an old familiar favorite.

We'd probably do covers both "in the style recorded" and "with a new twist/perspective." I'll admit to prefering to do originals though. Why labor to perform someone else's art 99% as good (at best), when you can naturally perform your art at 100%?

16. What's the time commitment for the band?

4 hours per week. In the past, it's been two hour rehearsals, twice a week. Furthermore, we'll hopefully play some gigs in the future that might suck an evening or two away from your other life. I do recognize/expect that you folks won't make the band your first priority (it isn't my first priority either.) School/work comes first. If you've got major exams/work deadlines, you can obviously skip rehearsal. (Obviously, you should let the rest of the band know as soon as you know you won't be coming.)

In the past, rehearsals have been weekdays after 5pm and/or weekend afternoons. But once we know who the band members will be, I'll compare everyone's availability schedules. If everyone's free Tuesdays from 10am to noon, that's when we'd have rehearsals.

In conclusion, rehearsals shouldn't be your first priority, but they should be a priority.

Shows are scheduled pretty far in advance, so you would be expected to schedule your other stuff around shows. (And I'd check with your current availability before I schedule future shows.)

In addition, there will be some weekends dedicated to recording demos and stuff, and there may be extra rehearsals (one-on-one, or with the whole group) that may come up as needed. There's also driving time to and from rehearsals and other little things (like reading/answering e-mails/phone messages)

Semi-finally, while the above time committments may SEEM reasonable, you should know that life gets pretty hectic, and (many) band members have realized that they can't handle being in the band after all. YOU are the one who is responsible for knowing what your time commitments will be. If after joining the band you realize you don't have as much time as you'd like, that's your fault. It's not fair to me (or the other band members) who have put in time training/rehearsing if you're not going to follow through with the band. So before you audition, ask yourself "Do I REALLY have time for this, both today and in the future?"

Finally, the band will seem fun for the first month. But eventually, the novelty wears off and the band might SEEM like work. And the time committment seems a lot larger when it's not as much fun for you. But if you join the band, you have to commit to two months notice before leaving (ie two more months of "work" for you) to be fair to the rest of the team. We spent a month training/rehearsing with you, so you need to reciprocate by giving us time to find a replacement or continue building band momentum.

17. What's up with all the gimmicks? I mean, calling yourself the Darkwinner, stuffed monkeys on stage, and now you're telling me you're going to wear a mask while performing? Aren't you worried about how we're ever going to get anyone to take us as serious musicians?

Honestly, we're not "serious" musicians. (Do you really think we could be serious musicians with just 4 hrs/week of rehearsals?) During the day I'm focused, but during this band thing I'm honestly just taking a break, playing around and being whimsical. If you don't appreciate the sense of fun that the gimmicks provide, well, maybe this band isn't for you.

Also, if anyone has other ideas for band gimmicks, let me know. If you've always wanted to be in a band that wore matching plaid jackets, we could do it to humour your sense of whimsy also. (Of course, you'd have to buy the band those matching plaid jackets, and the rest of the band would have to agree to it as well.)

More than one person has asked if we're all going to have superhero names and wear masks. I really wasn't planning on it. If the band thinks it's cool, we could do it. But I wouldn't try to change someone else's stage identity- I just like being able to define mine own ;-) You can wear whatever you want, assuming that "whatever you want" isn't going to induce the testosterones to riot or something.

21. Aren't you a giant control freak, demanding to be the team leader who deserves the unquestioned right to make any decisions he wants for the band?

Naw, it just might seem that way to an outsider ;) Seriously though, I do things this way not because I crave authority/power, but mostly because I think this is the most efficient way to get the most done in as short a time as possible. I used to think newbies would be more ready to take directions from a veteran band leader. However, as I've been getting initial contacts from various musicians, I've noticed that it's consistently the experienced applicants who tell me "Yeah, that's the way things have worked best from my past sucessful bands." It's the newbies who whine about how things seem dictatatorial and "unfair." ("I know I have no experience to decide how a band should be run, but I still think the band should be run my way.")

I've recently realized that this situation isn't that inexplicable. After all, we live in America, where it's hammered into us that we should always check and balance our leaders to prevent corruption. Thus to most people, actually trusting a leader to make better decisions than you is a foreign concept. Truth be told, I started my first band less dictator-y, but I became more dictator-y when I realized that was what was necessary to efficiently use band time. So it's only natural that newbies (who haven't had the experience of how inefficient non-dictatorships bands are) would not want to join a dictator-y band. Ideally I'd like newbies who can come in and trust/support the team leader's decisions. However, I've realized that it's more likely that I'd need to accept a newbie who still prefers non-dictorship leadership styles. However, this newbie must be willing to give a chance to a non-preferred (dictatorial) leadership style, because they realize/admit that they don't know everything about how to run a great band.

22. So seriously, are you really like a 100% totalitarian dictator?

I don't think I could seriously make that claim. If "1" is no control (What do you want to do? I don't know, what do you want to do?) and "10" is a 100% totalitarian dictatorship, I'd probably rate myself at a "6" or "7." Some differences between me and a horribly totalitarian dictator would be

A. the motivation (as mentioned above)
B. the occasions when the power is used
C. the consideration of other viewpoints.
D.  delegating responsibility 

B. The occasions when power is used. A totalitarian dictator makes EVERY decison unilaterally. I only make decisions when it's better for a single voice to make them. The stupid dinky decisions that nobody cares about? I'd make those decisions unilaterally because it's a waste of band time/resources to debate them. The big decisions that spark endless debate where one side can't convince the other which side is better? I'd also make those decisions unilaterally because ANY decision is better than endless bickering. But there's a whole range of medium level decisions that the band can discuss and decide. (Should we print up stickers or buttons to promote the band?) And there are also decisions that are best left to individual band members. (Drummer: "Darkwinner, should I play this fill or that fill?" Darkwiner: "You're the drummer, you decide which fill sounds best to you, and that's the fill you choose to play. If I chose which fill to play, I might as well be the drummer!") I don't want to make every decision for the band, I just want to make the decisions when it's more efficient for the band if one person makes them.

C. The consideration of other viewpoints A totalitarian dictator does things only his way, and he won't tolerate dissenting voices. I'm not like that. I normally say (even during auditions), do you have any questions? Is there anything I missed? I invite comments from others because I know I'm not perfect, and it's possible someone else has a more vaild point. (When it's crunch time, I don't invite comments as often, but you can always break in with a useful suggestion (if it's practical, ie not "live on the air".) I'll consider your proposal before accepting/dismissing it, but I may not have time to explain my rationale until after crunch time is over.)

With that being said, after I listen to your input, it'll seem like I get my way more often than you get yours. It's your job to convince me that your way is more advantageous, it's NOT my job to justify to you why my way is more advantageous. (Ideally, we'd continually discuss the matter until both sides agreed that one way was "best," or we reached a compromise that both sides could live with. But in reality (especially when dealing with art), there are many times when you can't logically prove one way is "better" than another, and there really isn't a middle ground.)

So if we can't convince each other which way is better, you're just going to have to accept that I'm going to get my way, and you won't get yours. Why should I have this power? Well, I'm the band leader who's got additional responsibilities, so I get additional rewards. Also, when you decided to follow me as a leader, you're saying you trust my decision making skills over your own (even/especially when your decisions would be different than mine.) If you're the type of person who needs to approve of every decision to be happy, you should probably start up a different band where you could be the band leader.

D. Delegating responsibility A totalitarian dictator would never give up control/power by delegating responsibility to someone else. I prefer letting others take on responsibilities- that way they contribute more to the band, and I have less work to do! Responsibilities that will probably be delegated out:

Visual Artist: Tweak the logo, design shirts, posters, and CD covers
Web Design: Handle the webpage
Sound Engineer: Handle the PA system
Publicity: Prints up flyers, organizes the band so they get put up
Shopper: Searches for lowest prices for CD burning, web space, shirt printing etc
Whatever additional stuff we think of/becomes necessary

If anyone's interested in the above responsibilities, they're welcome to them. (Especially if they have more expertise than the Darkwinner in those areas- not that hard to do.) Let's say Barry wants to handle Visual Artist. His role would be like a "newspaper writer" to the Darkwinner's "editor." The Darkwinner says "Design a T-shirt." Barry uses his creative talents to come up with a cool T shirt. Barry shows it to the Darkwinner. The Darkwinner suggests he make "MONKEY" a bigger font so it's easier to read from a distance. (Having an editor who's not the creator results in a valued objective 2nd opinion.) Once the Darkwinner and Barry have a good T-shirt design, they run it by the band, who offer more fine tuning suggestions (if they have any.) And then the band has a better T-shirt than if the Darkwinner was a stupid totalitarian dictator who couldn't delegate responsibility.

So I'm not really looking to make ALL the decisions, like a true totalitarian dictator. I'm hoping that band members will want to work with me, and (like Barry) serve a larger creative role in some non-musical areas (which has the added benefit of freeing up some of the Darkwinner's time ;-)

23. If the band is dictatorial-esque, isn't your whole shpiel about "team focus" invalid?

Er, no. Actually, most teams are dictatorial. A football team: In a huddle, the quarterback doesn't ask for a vote if the next play should be a run or a pass. A marketing team: Different groups presents their ideas to the manager, and the manager decides one of the groups' recommendations to go with. To be in a team means you focus on doing your job to the best of your ability, and you trust your team mates (and team leader) to do the same. (The wide receiver doesn't whine about how it's stupid to run the ball on 4th down and 8 yards. Once the quarterback makes the call, he focuses on helping to block the for the running back.)

24. Are you big on discussing/listening?

No/yes.

The no part: Something I've realized about my leadership style for the live auditions: I'm not too big on discussing. When a decision needs to be made, I analyze it on my own, then present my recommendation and the advantages/disadvantages to the group. Knowing my analysis is 95% (at best) and that the rest of you folks might be able to come up with that 5% that is super critical but I missed, I say "Does anyone have any other advantages/disadvantages?" Generally, my analysis has been thorough enough that there isn't much discussion left to be done. If you've got a super valid point, I'll recognize it soon enough (I hope). If you bring up a disadvantage so now instead of 10 advantages and 2 disadvantages there is now 10 advantages and 3 disadvantages, there still won't be much discussion. So no, I'm not too big on discussion, I much more prefer fast/efficient decision making, so the band can focus on the fun stuff, like say, playing music.

The yes part: I do listen to you. (See "The no part" where I say "Does anyone have any other advantages/disadvantages?") At least 95% of the time, when circumstances are "normal" and discussion is appropriate. There will be times when discussions are best saved for later (like say, when we're live on the radio). And while I will receive your auditory input, that does not necessarily mean that I will acquiesce to it. (I'll listen you, but I won't listen to you.)

25. Do you think you've rambled enough about your leadership style? I mean, geez!

Yeah, I think I have. This is important stuff though. During auditions, I hate having to evaluate the auditionee AND guess if the auditionee would still like me 6 months down the road. It's much better if the auditionee can decide for himself if he'd still like my leadership style 6 months down the road. Hopefully, the auditionee can read the above description and think, "Hmm, can I really work with this type of guy?" He'd make a better prediction regarding this issue than I ever could.

I'm sooo not going to change my leadership style in the near future. And I doubt that anyone is going to change what type of leadership style they can happily work with. Because it's so constant, it's important to match this up at the start. Hence the long explanation.

(Also, there's the fact that this is what killed my second band, and so I'm sensitive/cautious about not repeating the same mistakes again.)

50. Why an "alto/soprano" vocalist instead of just any vocalist?

I'm a guy bass/baritone, so I thought it would be better to have in the band someone who contrasts with my vocal tone for variety, so we could perform any song under the sun . Also (maybe it's because I've been writing melodies since I was a kid before my voice changed), the songs I write tend to be too high for me to sing. (When I write songs in my mind, I also tend to forget that people need to breathe.)

51. I'm a tenor, can I still audition for the band? I know you didn't request it in the flyer, but I love the band concept. (or: "I don't sing or drum, but I do play guitar or keyboard or sax or didgeradoo or whatever"). Can I still be a part of the band?

If you're willing to spend the time to audition, I'll definitely consider you. But you should know the odds of you getting in are much lower than someone who performs the instruments I specifically mentioned in the flyer. But if your attitude is that outstanding, and I feel like you'd make a phenomenal contribution to the band, then I'd take you in, regardless of what instrument you play. After all, life is what happens when you're making other plans.

52. What do you mean, "odds of getting in are lower?"

I mean that, assuming a Bayesian distribution, the subject's probability of receiving a band invitation is 23.47% of control, with a standard deviation of 5.2 and confidence intervals of 9.4.

Seriously, I don't really know. It kind of depends on who ends up in the band. If it turns out none of the vocalists can strum a guitar at all, I might take a guitarist who auditioned. Or if a keyboardist has a great attitude and I really feel like the expanded palette of tones would help the band, then I'd take him. I can't really say who could extra-ly improve the band until I know who the "regular" band will be.

59. I drum, but I'd also like to play flute/sing/strum guitar etc. Is that a problem?

No. In fact, it might actually be an asset, contributing to our "meta-pop" sound. Everyone in the band will get their chance to "front" for the band. If you'd like to sing or play a lead instrument, I can fill in on drums while you shine in the spotlight. (And/or you can shine in the spotlight by taking drum solos or playing the occasional pyrotechnic percussion rhyhm to a full song. It's just bad when it's being done constantly.)

60. I've been in more than 2 bands. Is that a problem? I do like jamming with newbies.

As long as you realize that band members will not have as much experience as you, and you don't get uber frustrated at them for making "beginner" mistakes, that's cool. (After 2 bands, I still make beginner mistakes, so if you get frustrated with newbies, you're probably not going to like jamming with me either.) Furthermore, these beginners probably won't be as dedicated as in your previous bands; we're not doing daily 8 hour rehearsals, and the band shouldn't be anyone's first priority.

You'd also need to be comfortable taking directions from a band leader who's not as "seasoned" as you are. While I'll definitely regard the experience you bring to the band as an asset, I also won't be doing things just because that's what worked in your old band. "Left to the Right Monkey" has a new (even experimental) approach, and so the rules will probably be different. As we discover what works in this unique framework, we might repeat some mistakes you had previously warned us about,. You're going to have to be able deal with the frustration of people not listening to your (accurate) warnings.

On the upside (which is why I prefer jamming with inexperienced folks), there's this irreplicable enthusiasm, and a sense of fun that I think is going to be essential to this band.

64. I sing, but don't play an instrument. Is that a problem?

No, as long as you're willing to shake a tamborine, sing backup "ooh", or play simple bass line/keyboard riffs like we'll show you. If you could already do those things, it saves the band a bit of time teaching you those things. But coming in with those skills isn't really that important. (It's really not that hard to teach those simple parts, so it's not that much of an advantage if you come in already able to do those things.)

Last question: Where are the other FAQs? Why aren't these FAQs in numerical order?

When people ask me questions in an e-mail that I think other folks might also like to know, I'll post them here to the FAQs. The FAQs used to be in numerical order, then I grouped/renumbered them according to topical relevance. It makes more sense this way (I think.)

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